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A Credo For Acquitting Senators

by David Limbaugh

Reprinted with permission from the author. Article was published Feb. 8, 1999.

This is an inexhaustive list of what a senator ought to believe in order to vote in good conscience to acquit President Clinton:

1.    That the following patently false statements made by Clinton on two separate occasions to Betty Currie were for the purpose of refreshing his own memory (keeping in mind that prior to saying them he told her, "There are several things you may want to know"):

A. "You were always there when she was there, right?"

B. "We were never alone, right?"

C. "Monica came on to me, and I never touched her, right?"

D. "You could see and hear everything?"

2.    The words "alone" and "is" are ambiguous.

3.    Clinton called Monica at 2:30 am after learning she had been put on the witness list just to shoot the breeze and in the course of the conversation he incidentally informed her that: she was on the witness list, she could file an affidavit and they should stick to their cover story -- and that there was no "linkage" between the three things. That Monica came up with the term "linkage" on her own and without coaching.

4.    Clinton was not directly responsible for orchestrating Jordan's frantic job search efforts for Monica and that those efforts had nothing to do with keeping her on the reservation. That Jordan's statement to Clinton, "mission accomplished" was insignificant.

5.    Bald-face lies to the American people were impeachable for Nixon but not Clinton.

6.    Clinton told Dick Morris to refrain from unleashing the attack dogs on Monica because he cared about her rather than because he thought she still might be protective of him.

7.    Consensual sex negates a finding of sexual harassment even when there is a disparity of power positions in the workplace between the participants.

8.    Monica was acting on her own to file her false affidavit because she wanted to keep her relationship secret (though she had bragged about it to at least 11 people).

9.    Monica wanted her gifts under Betty Currie's bed because she liked having her things at other people's homes.

10.    Clinton didn't lie to Blumenthal when he told him that Monica was a stalker and threatened him and that he didn't intend for him and other aides to spread that story in the media and to the grand jury.

11.    The White House's talking points memo issued Jan. 24, 1998 stating that the president believes that "oral sex is, of course, a sexual relationship" can be reconciled with his statement that he testified with "legal accuracy."

12. That Starr and the vast right-wing conspiracy worked in concert to cause Bill Clinton to have multiple sexual encounters, to tamper with witnesses and hide evidence to conceal the relationship and to commit multiple perjuries in two separate legal proceedings.

13.    That the framers would have approved of allowing a President who abuses his power by assaulting and undermining the judiciary to remain in office.

14.    That the chief executive is "more equal" under the law than ordinary citizens.

15.    That the president is not technically guilty of grand jury perjury because one of the following four elements weren't satisfied:  a) the oath was improperly administered; b) his statements weren't false; c) he didn't intend to lie; d) his statements weren't material (keeping in mind that his only motive to lie was to cover up previous felonies).

16.    Sens. Moynihan and Byrd were wrong when they virtually admitted that Clinton's crimes are impeachable.

17.    Clinton's conduct is indefensible yet warrants the most vigorous legal defense available to man.

18.    The rule of law is a nice sounding bromide that has little relevance to our individual liberties.

19.    Perjury and obstruction of justice "about sex" by the chief law enforcement officer of the nation are inconsequential matters.

20.    The president's hired guns actually believe even a fraction of the malarkey they were uttering and that the senators believe it too.

21.    Blackstone was having a bad day when he placed perjury alongside bribery as an offense against public justice, i.e., an offense against the state.

22.    Senate precedent to the effect that perjury and obstruction are impeachable offenses should be ignored.  That presidents should be subject to a different removal standard from judges though this flies in the face of all Senate precedent and the text of the Constitution.

23.    Monica wasn't trying to protect Bill Clinton by offering the minimum amount of incriminating testimony to satisfy her obligations under her immunity agreement.

24.    Clinton wasn't paying attention to his lawyer, Bob Bennett, during the Jones deposition despite affidavits of eyewitnesses and video evidence to the contrary.

25.    Clinton was testifying truthfully when he said he was never alone with Monica.

26.    The authors of the Federalist Papers were insincere when they said, "Talents for low intrigue, and the little arts of popularity, may alone suffice to elevate a man to the first honors in a single State; but it will require other talents, and a different kind of merit, to establish him in the esteem and confidence of the whole Union, or of so considerable a portion of it as would be necessary to make him a successful candidate for the distinguished office of President of the United States.  It will not be too strong to say, that there will be a constant probability of seeing the station filled by characters pre-eminent for ability and virtue."

27.    Bill Clinton is virtuous and not extremely talented in low intrigue and that little art of popularity.

28.    Clinton was being truthful when he said that he wanted Monica to be truthful in her affidavits.

29.    One can reasonably reconcile the fact that in the majority, if not all fifty states, convicted felons may not own firearms and may not vote, yet this felonious president can remain in the highest office to which U.S. voters can elect him and will retain the ability to launch weapons of mass destruction.

30.    One can reasonably reconcile the fact the majority, if not all, state bar associations disbar their members for the commission of felonies and much less, yet they will be allowing a serial felon to remain as chief law enforcement officer and commander-in-chief of the nation.

31.    The senators aren't placing their narrow, selfish political interests above the long term interests of the nation.  That they are not betraying their constitutional duties in so doing.

32.    That they aren't setting a dangerous precedent by raising the bar of impeachable offenses above multiple felonies.

33.    Virtually no misconduct, regardless of how odious, will justify impeachment or removal if it might appear to give Republicans a political victory.

34.    The earth is flat.

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